Joey Stern
A Web Admin with a heart of gold.
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Info
- Operations & Development Coordinator at GenomeWeb LLCOnline Media | Greater New York City Area, USSummaryI've worked with many clients and companies that are not capitalizing on their internet experience. I'm able to integrate development processes with business processes to save money and create a more compelling product.Specialties: -Drupal Web CMS -Project Management for Web Development -Marketing analysis of site metrics -Getting large data sets to tell a story -Website Product ManagementExperience
- Jul 2010 - PresentOperations & Development Coordinator / GenomeWeb LLC
- Feb 2010 - Jul 2010Financial Consultant (Fixed Term Employment) / UBS Investment Bank-Project manager for multi-system update to comply to with new financial regulations -Optimized over a dozen databases for better data storage and fast reporting -Developed data model to check accounts for unexpected behavior and flag errors -Managed SharePoint site including adherence to information security requirements
- Aug 2008 - Jun 2009Online Ad Sales and Marketing Associate / IAC-Monitored site traffic and ensured full delivery of promised impressions -Maintained competition database for market analysis and new client acquisition -Project manager of SalesForce integration and management -Presented department accomplishments to senior management at weekly meetings
- Jul 2007 - Jun 2008Business Analyst / UBS Investment Bank-Optimized and updated four separate UBS financial database systems -Researched functions of old databases, enabling installation of new and improved systems -Created design specifications for new profit and loss system and oversaw implementation -Partnered with IT to create new data streams and enhance reporting -Designed an interdepartmental timetable for future upgrades of older databases
- Jun 2006 - Dec 2006Financial Control Intern / UBS Investment Bank-Wrote a procedural manual for department, which simplified process for integrating new employees and interns -Produced daily profit and loss statements in partnership with multiple cost centers
- Aug 2005 - Dec 2005International Tax Intern / Interpublic Group-Designed database for tax department’s filing system -Completed international tax returns for over two dozen companies -Assisted international associates handling compliance matters
- Jan 2005 - Aug 2005Business Research Intern / The Conference Board-Designed database for Online Help Wanted Index -Conducted research and assisted in the development of the 2005 -Corporate Contributions Report -Worked across the organization to analyze the status of a long-time product -Created tables and charts illustrating fiscal year department accomplishments and budgeted for coming year
Education-
2003 - 2007Pace UniversityBBA in Finance
Activities: Member of: Beta Gamma Sigma Business Honor Society; Golden Key International Honor Society, Pace University Pforzheimer Honors College
Additional Information-
Websites:
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Honors:English writing award for non-fiction essay; First Honors: 2005, 2003, Second Honors: 2004
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Tweets
- Photo: 50 Sades of Grey http://t.co/t81LB7qS
- Photo: › “Batman’s gaunt glumness and unblinking, shell-shocked eyes are pretty much exactly what I think... http://t.co/R91UC9Jr
- et cetera.: The problem with going on vacation in two days - plittly: http://t.co/KqIoN0hk
- Will the News Scissor Sisters Record be on Spotify?May 11, 12 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Photo: aaronfever: http://t.co/swNk8VTi
- Photo: http://t.co/auWvG9Ub
- Photo: http://t.co/DHbVVvTF
- Photo: http://t.co/kNEI09Fh
- Klouchebag score for @Joeystern: 53, or 'bit of a douchebag'. http://t.co/r2bNiWD3
- Photo: A beast http://t.co/syE9BWn4
- @joemygod Yeah! N'sync totally doesn't lipsync! Jerk. Wait, what year is it?Apr 25, 12 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Photo: All about Beave. http://t.co/DVZkV8Yr
- @JefferySelf This is a feature of the latest chrome update, I assume.
- Photo: Awesome http://t.co/oynbq81Z
- Hey Kiddo! We had your art in this show and was very popular! http://t.co/MmEoLJqP @designhazards
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Posts
“Batman’s gaunt glumness and unblinking, shell-shocked eyes are pretty much exactly what I think the World’s Greatest Detective would look like if he woke up to find that his legs had been replaced with a barrel of Mountain Dew that he had to wheel around selling to impressionable teens.”
Is that all I can think about is going on vacation in two days.
This is problematic because the next two days at work should be pretty busy, both because of the aforementioned trip and because I have a lot on my plate for the rest of the month. Add to that the fact that I still need to pack and…
Well. Now Cynthia Nixon has gone and pissed me off.
I believe that sexuality is acceptable when it involves consenting adults. I believe that people choose because not is an option. I think the born this way ideology is bad in that it ignores consent, and in some ways, it opposes it.
Man-on-Dog arguments are a function of the born this way meme. And a showcase of how that dialogue can confuse the issue. My gayness is not a problem because I engage in it with consenting adults. Dog Fucking is a problem because dogs cannot consent to sex with a human.
I don’t know that Ms. Nixon and I would agree on everything about this, but I can sympathize with a lot of her anger.
“I totally reject that,” she said heatedly. “I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”
i present to you, this powerpoint
get on it, dudes and ladied
get
on
it
This is great. Truly the greatest.
Bludgeon from a Fiverr request
http://fiverr.com/joeystern/draw-you-a-silly-comic-based-on-one-word
