A Project Manager with a heart of gold.
To help companies maximize their digital presence while reducing expense through the following: improving in-house analytics, designing better user experiences, and creating new revenue streams.
■ Saved company $10,000 a year by changing web hosting to faster/better client
■ Cut email marketing costs by 25% per month through contract negotiations
■ Created new revenue stream with “White Papers” section for site, generating $15,000 in first 3 months
■ Increased the social media reach of the website by 35%
■ Organized company booth for conferences ensuring timely arrival and expedited new user signups
■ Designed and developed video section of site
■ Implemented improved ad trafficking management system
■ Produced new reporting process to aid client relations and enhance data analysis
■ Project manager for user tracking venture which allows for superior audience evaluation
■ Project manager for multi-system update to comply to with new financial regulations
■ Optimized over a dozen databases for better data storage and fast reporting
■ Developed data model to check accounts for unexpected behavior and flag errors
■ Managed SharePoint site including adherence to information security requirements
■ Project manager of Sales Force integration and management
■ Lead planner for election night event, came in under budget and met our goal for press mentions
■ Monitored site traffic and ensured full delivery of promised impressions
■ Maintained competition database for market analysis and new client acquisition
■ Presented department accomplishments to senior management at weekly meetings
■ Researched functions of old databases, enabling installation of improved systems
■ Created design specifications for new profit and loss system and oversaw implementation
■ Partnered with IT department to create new data streams and enhance reporting
■ Led year-end system integrity check to ensure compliance with SEC regulations
■ QA tested installation of improved data systems and oversaw pre-release bug-fixes
■ Created a department manual which gave a thorough how to for daily reporting tasks and over twenty-five internal programs
I don’t know where to begin with this fucker.
Oh, yes I do. Here:
You know she can never properly clean her asshole with all that hair, right?
So this snot rag is stamping her crusty ass full of shit crumbs all over your house. And you love her anyway, don’t you, you greasy stain?
You sicken me.
1) Fuck this guy.
2) Fuck any dude who assumes that girls don’t actually like/listen to the music that they profess to like; as if it’s so fucking unfathomable that a woman would (gasp!) like a band like Joy Division.
3) If this is meant to be a swipe at people who buy band T-shirts at places like Urban Outfitters or whatever and wear them without really knowing what said band is about, well, dude did a fucking piss-poor job of making that point. You can make that kind of joke without reducing it to “lol girls don’t know about music aren’t they dumb lol.”
4) I have seen more male comedians do stand-up in the past decade than I would have ever cared to (the perils of dating someone who is in that scene), and honestly? With a few exceptions, the overwhelming majority were not funny and often relied on sexism or other -isms in their jokes. Yet somehow, they got a pass. (Possibly because it’s a male-dominated scene? Ha ha ha, I’m kidding, of course that’s the reason.) Then again, maybe that’s the reason why the overwhelming majority of those guys haven’t actually achieved even a moderate amount of success; who knows.
Ugh.
I asked who lived in the castle.she said “Darth Vader” and then drew him. And I could not.stop smiling.